My last post was last september. So much has happened in the last year. And so little.

A-hole got back in my life – seems he was in jail for awhile, which sobered him up. He’s still sober, I fell for him again, whereupon he promptly told me he was in love with someone from his past, and they were going to do the happy family thing. We’re still friends, though. I guess.

I’m moving back to the midwest, my son was doing so much better there, and he got kicked out of his uncle’s house. I’m very sad about leaving the ocean, but it’s the right thing to do.

I dated a chinese vampire, I checked myself into the hospital for depression, and got a new tattoo. Oh, and a new car.

I have realized that doing the right thing isn’t the easiest thing. I have realized that no matter how much your intuition tells you something is right, it doesn’t mean it is. I have realized that I love the sound of the ocean in the middle of the night, and I love watching the waves roll in, it makes me feel really content. I have realized that most of my dreams probably won’t come true, and that we have to make new dreams to replace them. I have realized that I fall in love quickly and completely, and don’t consider the consequences. I have realized that life keeps going on, even when you want it to stop. I have realized that depression is a sickness, comparable to diabetes, it can strike you no matter your life circumstances, and you have to treat it long-term. I have realized I love to have sex in semi-public…outside, where you could get discovered, but no one’s around. I have realized that I can only have sex 3 times with the same person without getting attached and wanting more from them.

So, a lot has been learned. There hasn’t been too many blue moments, though. One where A put his hand on my hip as he moved around me to get something off the counter. One where he bought me my favorite ice cream because I was coming over. Waking up with his arm and leg thrown over me. Good energy hugs from my massage boss. I guess that covers the entire last year. Oh, laughing with the Chinese Vampire in Salem the weekend before Halloween. He’s great. Turned into a good friend. I said goodbye to him last night, and cried my eyes out.